Just like a playful little girl, life has held my hand and teased me into running after her through the magnificent meadows as well as the murky puddles. There were times when I fell and there were also times when I more than just fractured myself.
These times were rough for me, I refused to play with her and held a grudge too, however, life like she always does, moved along, without me. They say no regrets but as much as I would like to agree with them, I have quite a few. Most of them involve me feeling angry with life. Most of them involve me taking myself too seriously.
There was this one time though, a while ago, I was hurt and recounting my extremely sad tale to a friend I didn’t know very well. When I was done shedding my tears, he responded with, “Look at the sky, it was bright when we met and now it’s dark.” In between sniffles, I mustered out a “yeah….”, he continued irritably, “Well, the Earth spun, the clouds travelled to another city and the day departed, Nobody, none of it care about you as much as you do. Do you see why you suffer so?” And I knew what he meant.
A thought passed through my mind that night and this thought is probably what made me as happy as I am today. I realised that the skies, the seas, the forests are enormous. If I were to stand at the edge of the universe, a universe we only speculate about in spite of studying it for centuries, I would have to zoom through the telescope millions of times just to see my face, that’s how big my significance in this grand scheme is, minuscule.
Yet, I am a part of this puzzle, an important part too. If science has taught us anything it’s this, ‘Nothing is exclusive of each other’, a butterfly’s wing can determine what happens in another part of the world without it’s intending it. So I am obviously making a difference, I might be here because of an accident but I am here and that’s what truly matters, not why I am here but that I really am here.
What I want to do with my life is a gross overestimation of my power in this world. I can’t decide what happens to me but I can choose my response to whatever situation I find myself in. Because ultimately, that’s what we do, respond to stimuli, I really didn’t think that my science class on the plant Mimosa AKA ‘touch me not’ is going to become an analogy to my own existence.
Let me give you an example
So we wake up and brush our teeth, whilst doing so (since we like to multitask so much), we start to imagine what we will eat for breakfast, what tasks we will complete at work, how we would like to spend our evening and what time we will hit the sheets (because God knows we didn’t rest well last night).
However, whilst brushing our teeth, the doorbell rings and our neighbour says that they require our help, someone is sick or let’s make this simple; while brushing we notice that our sink is leaking. Now the plan for breakfast is definitely not looking like Eggs Benedict, perhaps only a piece of bread and if time permits then some butter.
We might make it on time to work or maybe not. Depending on whether we were able to fix our sink, our evening may pass either laughing at the plumber’s joke or cleaning out the mess we had no time for, in the morning. Our spouse may pick up yet another fight or prepare the most delicious meal there ever was. We might go to bed early or make love all night.
You see? Nothing we planned actually happened, but did we cease to exist? We were there, just doing things that were warranted by our situation, not our imagination, but just our stimuli; the world stimulates us, we only respond to it.