Gentle Reader, I picked up quite the subject to speak of, didn’t I? Damn, this aspect of my life has haunted me forever. Since I was a young girl, my parents, teachers, friends and even strangers took the opportunity to enlighten me on this subject.
Sometimes I loved listening to it, other times I detested even the mention of it. Let us admit that our perception of money and success is much skewed.
Let us admit that our perception of money and success is very under-evaluated.
I mean, who the fuck knows what does success really mean? Can you go to a store and ask for 2 kilos of success and then sit and research this extremely hyped phenomenon?
No, we can’t Evaluate Success in any form Tangible!
So let us understand it through the actual definition of this very and I mean very over-used term.
Success according to the English Dictionary means the good or bad outcome of an undertaking or the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
The synonyms for this word are favourable outcome, successfulness, favourable result, successful outcome, positive result, victory, triumph.
What The Fuck!!!!!
Look closely gentle Reader, where is money mentioned? This abstract term, at least in my life was always synonymous with monetary gain.
So basically, for all my life, I had been thinking, (may I add, wrongly), that when I have crap loads of money is when I will be successful.
All the episodes of my life, wherein I accomplished a task favourably, failed to make me feel successful simply because I didn’t have crap loads of money! And what is a crap load of money? How much money is successful?
There is no tangible definition for this emotion. Pay attention, dear Reader, it is an emotion. And like all other emotions, it cannot be bought or sold. It is felt and that is the sole job of your perception. To feel what you observe, CONSCIOUSLY.
I am 27 years old, and 26 of these years were a joke, to say the least. I failed to process the meanings of the words I heard and hence, failed to feel them.
So many episodes come to mind now, of me being successful. The time when I didn’t give up climbing a hill even when I bled from a fall; the time when I scored a job I was under qualified for because I was persistent with my project. Climbing a hill that has hurt me is victory, getting a job that I excelled at more than the ones who had qualifications for it, is triumph – that is the meaning of success.
Yes, I didn’t get paid in gold for this – but I felt great, I should have felt greater but people said that it isn’t success if there is no money. So, I stopped enjoying my success.
That was the reason for my unhappiness; that my efforts that led to satisfactory and sometimes more than satisfactory outcomes didn’t pay me in money.
So What Is Money?
Money, as defined by the English Dictionary, is a current medium of exchange in the form of coins and banknotes; coins and banknotes collectively.
Let’s break this down more, shall we?
So it is the CURRENT Medium OF EXCHANGE. If the current medium of exchange was fruit then that would be money, if it was pencils then that would be money. It is a commodity that just eases the hassle of an exchange.
So owning bank notes, fruits or pencils is just having money.
What do we exchange the banknotes for?
If I have too many bank notes, can I exchange it for love or friendship or happiness?
Sure, I can buy a big posh house, a jet plane and plenty of cool cars. But will I be able to make people like me with it? Will I be able to secure a loving and respectful partner with it?
I only find myself in a big, posh but empty house, I associate with people that I am sure, are with me simply because I have money. I can’t even trust a partner that has vowed to love me simply because I have money.
Don’t believe me? Look into the details of a prenuptial agreement. It literally says that if you fail to love me then I won’t give you anything in money. We all know what happens to such agreements. Isn’t it sad that we have to write such things down?
A private jet is a vehicle that isolates you, you use it to go from one empty house to another on a different continent, just to be as lonely as you were in your first house, as lonely as you were in your private jet and then to being lonely in your holiday house.
Still don’t believe me? Look up rich people who committed suicide because they were unhappy.
So yeah, I do believe that people have not paid attention to that word and hence have misunderstood it.
They suffered the consequences and some of them told the truth about their findings like Jim Carey, while some others committed suicide and gave us a very graphic evidence of what happens when your understanding of the world leads you to waste your life doing things that don’t mean shit.
Take a moment and ask yourself, what will you exchange a million dollars for, if you get them right now.
Honestly ask yourself if the million dollars will actually fix the deep issues you experience.
Don’t get me wrong gentle Reader. I do believe money is important – as important as any medium of exchange can be.
If I paint a fantastic picture but can’t buy food for my family, then that picture means nothing. But if that picture buys me my needs and makes me feel great about my capability then the money I get in exchange for it is totally worth it.
That money serves its purpose of buying me my security in life and my effort buys me that satisfaction in life. It is the right way of doing things.
Now let us assess the other reasons for money.
To leave it for my children – Now wait a second. I really don’t think that children who don’t learn the ways of the world since their beginning are in any way better off than the children who do.
So why waste that time working extra hard for an inheritance when science has proven that the best thing one can do for their children is prepare them for the future in real concrete ways?
Why teach them what you detest when the goal is to give them a better life?
We don’t seriously think that our children will be any happier than us if they are constantly observing us feel unhappy. Hell, most of us don’t even spend enough time with them, for them to get to know us.
If money fails to make me happy, then how in the world will it make my child feel happy? Children reject non-sense much faster than adults do. They don’t reason with their friends the way we do. They just say that this toy is shit and I won’t play with it.
Take a look at your child’s nursery and come face to face with your child’s interests. They don’t give a rat’s ass about all the presents you bought them – But spend a day with your child listening to what they think and you have a relationship worth everyone’s envy.
We want our children to learn how to be industrious, how will they understand that word if they see their parents fail to be industrious and instead act like slaves.
We want our children to learn to stand up for themselves. How do they learn that if they observe their parents come home disappointed and humiliated simply because they couldn’t stand up for themselves?
If our children knew the word Hypocrite then that is what they will call us. Some of them actually have used that word. I admit gentle Reader, I called my parents ‘hypocrites’. I am not proud of it but that is the truth and I won’t expect any different from my own child if they see me do what I saw my parents do.
Any other reasons you can think of for having more money?
I can’t think of any other. I really cannot. As an individual, that is the extent of what money can do for me.
Now I am sure you may think – “but other people think otherwise and the world doesn’t function like this”, or some such argument.
To that argument, I can only say fuck the world and fuck other people.
They do not live your life for you. Don’t wait to find that out when you are 60. Everything that you were convinced you were working for, will confront you when there is very little that can be done. Your health will leave you and so will your children.
Don’t believe me?
Ask your own parents. For those that have none, ask the people that have written an account of their lives. In clear language, they will explain how they fucked up.
So what else?
If I have more money now, and I buy a car with it, even though I don’t particularly like cars, then I am simply adding more pollution to the environment. Not because I achieve great joy in it, but because it is cool according to other people. How else will they know I am “SUCCESSFUL” if I don’t have a fancy car?
I like my environment though, much more than I do cars, I know that walking to the market is good for me as well as my environment but I still take the car because it will break if I don’t rev the engine up every day, so I feel guilty for being a dick.
I suffer the consequences of a rising temperature, realise that I am equally to blame and then stop aspiring to be a mother because God, even I can’t bear the earth, how will my child?
We never invite people to a filthy home, do we? So why will I invite my progeny to a world that is already filthy?
Remember, gentle Reader, I am to be blamed for the conditions of the world just as much as anyone.
I assert the words of great people when they say that, “a day well-spent results in a night well-slept”.
I have suffered from insomnia and I observed that while I was unable to sleep my mind was pointing out the things I was doing wrong.
I thought about a job I hated, I thought about a friend that hurt me, I thought about my partner’s insufficiency and then after wasting months over blaming everyone, I finally admitted that you can’t clap with one hand.
I saw what I was wrong. I endeavoured to fix it and now gentle Reader, I sleep well. And what I realised through observing this shift is that a good night’s sleep is filled with dreams that make you aspire for more.
Not only did I sufficiently recharge my batteries, but I also filled up my subconscious mind with good thoughts and woke up to be mindful of what I do and felt gratified by every tiny success in the day.
A good conversation, a heartfelt apology, consciously sorting out my garbage, writing a good article, accomplishing a freelance project, managing my finances, etc. made me feel successful moment to moment and I felt happy.
To manage my expenses in how much I have is success. Everyone can do with a bit more. But to make shit happen in what you have got, is the real challenge and hence, a real victory. Victory, like we learnt today, is synonymous with success.
To all those that still say that success is money – my reply to them is, read the dictionary and leave me alone!