Thoughts

The why of my life

Like almost every curious person, I was occupied with this question for a considerable part of my youth. The idea that there definitely is a purpose for my existence excited me to jubilation as well as depression. I am 27 now and I feel like I have a sound understanding of why am I really here.

I grew up in the 90’s and during my most tumultuous years, my life took an extreme westward direction. I felt uprooted and flung from my Eastern existence to a world where rules seemed like they were meant to be broken.

Not to mean that those rules were not followed where they came from but in my land, they were at their stage of infancy. I was in a new space where everything could be challenged, and challenge I did.

While learning values from whoever had the time to teach me, I forgot to ask them if I would need to apply these values; I only thought they were concepts I must register in case, someone doubts my capability of learning.

In hindsight, teachers only taught me how to learn a skill, application of these skills was left for purely my instinct. And my instinct was poorly informed while growing up; major events took place, events that left me parent-less.

I heard recently from a friend that Psychology as a subject is mostly chosen by people who find themselves abnormal. This hypothesis holds true for at least me. I was given such few answers about my situation that it became critical for my well-being to find my truth for myself.

“Truth”, I used to agree with this quote from Shantaram, “is a bully we all pretend to like.” It was said by my favourite character ‘Karla’, she is a scathingly honest component of the book. I believe she was a major catalyst in all events that occurred in the protagonist’s life. Now, however, I have to disagree with her.

Truth is one of the most important virtues of humanity, as much as one feels bullied by it, he also comes to the realisation that without it, our very foundation is faulty. I don’t only mean the relationships we build but also the relationship we have with ourselves.

I now wonder, if I have in fact arrived at an epiphany, then what does it say about my world?

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